Father Don Suberlak, C.R. died this afternoon at a hospital not far from Three Oaks Michigan where he had served for many years as pastor of St. Mary’s Catholic Church. He was four months short of his 90th birthday. Don and I were ordained together for the Congregation of the Resurrection in 1967 and he has been a friend to me all those years.
Don was a unique person. Laid back, unhurried, and reliable as he was, I never heard him raise his voice in anger or frustration in all the years that I have known him, although there were and are many frustrations in ministry.
He was a kind listener, genuinely interested in who you were. If you were a farmer, he asked you about farming. If you were a teacher, he would ask you about your students and how things were going for you at the school. If you were a father or mother, he asked about your children. He would listen to you and show interest in your life. Then, he remembered what you shared the next time he saw you.
Don’s mind moved faster than his speech. In conversation, he would start and stop and throw away an opening line or two before he got to what he wanted to say. It was slow and frustrating at times for him. He eventually would come up with the proper phrasing, but it wasn’t easy for him.
However, this problem never touched his preaching. His sermons were clear, folksy and short –memorable. I remember hearing him preaching about the home life of the Holy family with Jesus helping his dad in the workshop and Mary cooking something in the kitchen. You could hear the warmth of the Gospel when Don spoke.
He loved his priesthood and presiding at the Holy Eucharist in his parish church was the highlight of his day. After he retired, he continued to celebrate the Eucharist in his own home. He was thrilled when a bishop who was visiting the area on his day off asked if he could join Don for his morning Mass once a week. After that, the bishop joined Don regularly on Thursdays.
Several of us who were ordained with Don decided to celebrate our fiftieth anniversary of priesthood by taking a Caribbean cruise. Midway through the cruise, we disembarked for a land tour in Yucatan, Mexico. There were 12 or thirteen of us Americans on a small group tour to some local Mayan ruins. We were on our way there and had stopped at a roadside restaurant for a quick lunch.
Once we got our food, Don asked an older couple if he could join them at their table outside. As he sat eating, he looked at them as if he thought they were the only important people in his life. There he was at a picnic table with two middle-aged people on one side and he on the other. I see him laughing with them and leaning in to be sure he didn’t miss any of the conversation. He would never see this couple again, but it struck me at the time:” Look how easily he relates to them !”
Don had this rare and great gift of listening. He really did think that everyone was important. He never made you feel like he was in a hurry to get rid of you. What a great gift for a pastoral minister of the Gospel!
Some years ago, we were at dinner at a local restaurant and we got to talking about how old we were getting. I said:”Don, the sun is setting on our lives.” He looked up, smiled and said: “Jer, the sun has set!”
I already miss him.